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Little Jimmy Hackpants awakes to find himself in a dark, dank grotto that looks somewhat similar to a cave. A cave with….bats in it.

Little Jimmy Hackpants is about to have a very bad day.

“Hello”?

“HELLO, LITTLE JIMMY HACKPANTS. COME, SIT DOWN UPON MY FESTIVE KNEE. DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR SPECIAL PLACES.”

“Uh….kay. Where am I?”

“WHY, YOU’RE IN MY FESTIVE GROTTO FULL OF FESTIVE WONDER AND FESTIVENESS. THE PASSING RESEMBLANCE TO A DARK, SMELLY CAVE FULL OF BATS AND THE PROMISE OF BAD THINGS TO COME IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL”.

“….wtf?”

“YES, WTF. HOHOHO. DON’T YOU TRUST ME? LOOK, I’M FATHER CHRISTMAS”.
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“SEE? RED HAT AND EVERYTHING”.

“….um.”

“SO, HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY…..OR NICE”?

“Nice, I’ve been dead good this year. No leet hax or anything”.

“Yeah, so expensive trainers and a Playstation 3 for me plz thx”.

“ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN NAUGHTY”?

“Ya. Your ears are really pointy…”

“GENETIC CONDITION, VERY TRAGIC. THREE LEGS AND ONE FLIPPER, TOO. SEE, I WAS DIGGING THROUGH SOME OF YOUR CHATLOGS AND I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTICE….”

…OH DEAR, BEING BOASTFUL ARE WE? SANTA NO LIKE.

“….wtf?”

“MAKING PHISHERS DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PEOPLE? DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE…”

“….where’d you get that??”

…..MCDONALDS INSULTS! MCDONALDS INSULTS! MUST PUNISH!!!!

“……buh?…”

“…….GUESS WHAT, JIMMY”?
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“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”.

“……eep”.

“YES, EEP. SAY, THAT’S A NICE TOP LEVEL DOMAIN YOU HAVE. IT’D BE A SHAME IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO IT….”

……WHOOPS, TOO LATE. HEY, NICE FORUM.

WOULDN’T IT BE THE BEST CHRIMBO PREZZIE EVER IF…..

……YEAH, IT WOULD. OR, TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY….

…….MORE EGGNOG?
…more

Incoming: First Reaction to Yesterday’s TakedownWitness the Collapse of a Self-Styled EmpireA Call to ArmsDid the cops bust up some chops?Wow, is Myspace Tom letting you see hidden content on Myspace?